Boy! I am hopeless

I

Mind is obsessed with projecting. It is ok. No, it is not ok. This is happening. No, that is. This because of that or that because of this?? It grabs one object after other, one feeling after other and starts creating 'realities'. Here too, survival of the fittest. Strongest objects hold my attention longest. Spin me round and round into the web of thoughts.  I live there. This reality is shattered when the attraction for that object is overcome or just over. Moment of freedom. Space. Immediately I start auditioning objects for the next 'reality' show... 


II

Strong objects are different for different people. For most they are sensory - big house, big car, fancy living (= money) or beauty. For some they are ideals - my country, my children, my intellect, my art, my devotion, my spirituality, my love.  Love, especially is the tricky one. It is intricately linked with our base desires, biological instincts yet holds immense potential to take us beyond those.

For most part, people stick with one object for life because they cannot come out of its grip. It offers security, sense of self. Few get to play with 2 or 3. Fortunate few understand the game. The fun of letting go. Expanding boundaries. Challenging yourself again and again. Breaking the laws and creating new ones. Ultimately letting go of this game too. 

I should have been an actor.